Review: The Last Time We Say Goodbye by Cynthia Hand

Title: The Last Time We Say Goodbye
Author: Cynthia Hand
My rating: 4 of 5 Stars

MY THOUGHTS

"You never know when it’s going to be the last time. That you hug someone. That you kiss. That you say goodbye."

These past few years there has been a “death trend” in YA. A lot of books about death, suicide, grieving have been released. I wasn’t tempted to read them. Partly it was because this type of books requires some emotional strength from reader; being busy and tired in real life I tend to read more light and fluffy books. But the main reason was that I have a feeling that some authors just use these serious topics to “spice up” their stories, skipping past important things.

But I made an exception for this book. Why? Was it this simple, but instantly grabbing my heart cover? Or was it this beautiful haunting title? I don’t know, but I’m so glad I’ve read it.

This story is about Lex, a girl who’s trying to come in terms with her brother Tyler’s suicide. This is one of those stories that sneak up on you. It is sad in a quiet way, it doesn’t make you emotional wreck at once, but drop after drop it fills your heart with sadness.

This book focuses more on the consequences of suicide for those left behind. While Tyler was present throughout the book in Lex’s memories and her thoughts about him, this was mostly her story.

I’m lucky, and I haven’t lost anyone I loved, but I feel like Lex’s grieving was portrayed very authentically. She misses her brother, they were very close, and she loved him so much. But at the same time she feels anger, resentment and guilt over what he had done. There’s also the fact that people treat her differently. She’s now “the girl whose brother killed himself”.

I appreciate that it was her own story, it wasn’t “a boy saved her” story (which I see a lot in YA). We become witnesses to how Lex is trying to come in terms with what happened, how it finally all come to forgiveness.

"Forgiveness is tricky, because in the end it’s more about you than it is about the person who’s being forgiven."

I also want to mention Cyntia Hand’s writing style: beautiful, easy-flowing, not too flourish. It worked for me perfectly.

This book made me appreciate what I have in my life. It made me want to hug my loved ones and don’t let them go for a while. The Last Time We Say Goodbye is a heartbreaking and beautiful story; it’s not easy to read but I highly recommend it.

Cynthia Hand lost a loved one. She wrote a heartbreaking author note. I’m very grateful that she was brave to raise this very sensitive for her topic and wrote this emotional and thought provoking book.

Review: Crimson Bound by Rosamund Hodge

Title: Crimson Bound
Author: Rosamund Hodge
My rating: 5 of 5 Stars

SUMMARY
When Rachelle was fifteen she was good—apprenticed to her aunt and in training to protect her village from dark magic. But she was also reckless— straying from the forest path in search of a way to free her world from the threat of eternal darkness. After an illicit meeting goes dreadfully wrong, Rachelle is forced to make a terrible choice that binds her to the very evil she had hoped to defeat.

Three years later, Rachelle has given her life to serving the realm, fighting deadly creatures in an effort to atone. When the king orders her to guard his son Armand—the man she hates most—Rachelle forces Armand to help her find the legendary sword that might save their world. As the two become unexpected allies, they uncover far-reaching conspiracies, hidden magic, and a love that may be their undoing. In a palace built on unbelievable wealth and dangerous secrets, can Rachelle discover the truth and stop the fall of endless night?

Inspired by the classic fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood, Crimson Bound is an exhilarating tale of darkness, love, and redemption.

MY THOUGHTS

Like Rosamund Hodge’s first novel Cruel Beauty, Crimson Bound was very atmospheric. The author created rich, full of lore world.

I love that she doesn’t just write retellings. She uses the original fairy tale as an inspiration and creates her own unique and alluring story. There were short chapters of legends throughout the main story and they added this dark edge.

"she wasn’t like any of the heroines in those stories"

Rosamund Hodge like no one can write unlikable angry heroines, full of guilt and self-loathing. Heroines that make bad and unmoral things. But I love them. I loved Nyx from Cruel Beauty and I fell in love with Rachelle. My friend Keertana had an amazing guest post with Rosamund Hodge on her blog. If you want to know why the author wrote such female characters, check it out here.

The aspect of the book that had the strongest impact on me was the unthinkable choice in front of Rachelle. She did an awful thing; yes she was tricked, but a person died because of her. Now she faces consequences.

"Every day for the last three years, she had thought she deserved to die.
She still didn’t want to. She wanted to live with every filthy, desperate scrap of her heart."

I loved the dynamic of Armand and Rachelle’s relationship. At first she considered him a fraud and despised him for that. Later they formed an untrusted partnership which transformed into friendship and finally love. They are very different persons, but somehow they complement each other.

"Armand was the one who knew how to speak, anyway. He smiled and turned his words into knives that sliced out answers and distinctions. She was just the girl who plunged blindly ahead and doomed herself doing it."

The romance wasn’t the main focus of the story, but it was unique. I’m in owe of Rosamund Hodge. To create a love interest who doesn’t have hands! I hope she would write NA or Adult. There were so many alluring possibilities in all her books which were not explored because of YA limitations. Though, in comparison to Cruel Beauty this book was surprisingly sensual and steamy.

"And then she felt it again: the sudden, sharp awareness of wanting to touch him, of the space between them as an open wound, of her own body being jumbled and awkward and far too separate when she could be pressed against him, waist to waist and chin to shoulder and her fingers sliding into that pale brown hair"

Rosamund Hodge created very interesting second characters. Erec was such a complex character. I can’t fully discuss him without spoilers, I just say that he intrigued and fascinated me. Despite his choices and his acts I couldn’t hate him, just like Rachel.

This book was surprisingly action packed. I expected something like Cruel Beauty in this aspect: a lot of mental battles, but nonexistent physical ones. But in Crimson Bound Rosamund Hodge gave the reader a lot of fighting scenes. I’m sure many readers will be thrilled. Since I’m not actually a big fan of action-packed books, this aspect was just ok for me.

Writers creating fantasy and retellings have to choose between romance and plot. More often than not they choose the latter and write plot-driven action-packed books. But I prefer romantic stories. I know, I know, they are criticized for shaky world-building or lack of action, but I love them. I will choose romantic story to action-packed book every time. Rosamund Hodge in Crimson Bound managed to deliver both aspects. Plot is very engaging; there are a lot of action scenes and the romance is wonderful.

The author created an original story with dark atmosphere and complex characters facing impossible choices. It’s beautifully written, thought-provoking and very entertaining. I loved this unique book and can’t wait what Rosamund Hodge comes up with next. Highly recommended.

Review: On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta

Title: On the Jellicoe Road
Author: Melina Marchetta
My rating: 5 of 5 Stars

SUMMARY
I'm dreaming of the boy in the tree. I tell him stories. About the Jellicoe School and the Townies and the Cadets from a school in Sydney. I tell him about the war between us for territory. And I tell him about Hannah, who lives in the unfinished house by the river. Hannah, who is too young to be hiding away from the world. Hannah, who found me on the Jellicoe Road six years ago.

Taylor is leader of the boarders at the Jellicoe School. She has to keep the upper hand in the territory wars and deal with Jonah Griggs—the enigmatic leader of the cadets, and someone she thought she would never see again.

And now Hannah, the person Taylor had come to rely on, has disappeared. Taylor's only clue is a manuscript about five kids who lived in Jellicoe eighteen years ago. She needs to find out more, but this means confronting her own story, making sense of her strange, recurring dream, and finding her mother—who abandoned her on the Jellicoe Road.

MY THOUGHTS

I can’t write a coherent review right now. Probably ever. My mind is a tangle of thoughts and emotions. Melina Marchetta, what have you done to me?

This book is so achingly sad. This sadness seeped into my heart gradually. One drop after another, and then BAM! And it was overwhelming, and I couldn’t take it anymore, and I couldn’t breathe, and I was crying , crying…

Many reviewers mentioned that at first On the Jellicoe Road was very confusing, and that they straggled with the beginning of the book. So I braced myself for this, but it never came. I was under Marchetta’s spell from the first sentence. Opening line that gripped me right away:

"My father took one hundred and thirty-two minutes to die. I counted."

Melina Marchetta’s writing is beautiful and after I turned the last page I had a strong urge to open the book again and start from the beginning. This story has haunting quality; I can’t stop thinking about it.

And her characters, these wonderful broken characters. I loved them. Each of them has a special spot in my heart.

This book resonated with me on such deep level. There was something cathartic in reading it.

If you haven’t read On the Jellicoe Road yet, do it right now. And I dare you not to fell in love with this beautiful and heartbreaking story.

Audiobook review: If I Stay (If I Stay #1) by Gayle Forman

Title: If I Stay (If I Stay #1)
Author: Gayle Forman
Narrator: Kirsten Potter
Story rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Audio rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Overall rating: 5 of 5 Stars

MY THOUGHTS

If I Stay by Gayle Forman was on my to-be-read shelf for a long-long time. Many of my friends have read and highly praised it. I don’t have a good reason why I haven’t picked it up sooner. I guess it just stayed buried under new releases. Then the movie was released, and everyone was talking about this book again. And again I stayed away. It looks like I just needed a good push to finally read it. For me such a push was a reading challenge. So I’ve finally read it. Now I’m mad at myself for waiting so long, because I loved this book. It ended up on “my-true-book-love” shelf, and I don’t give up a spot there easily.

This story is unique. What genre is it? Probably contemporary with a touch of paranormal. Such books often don’t work or me. I prefer my stories to be solid contemporaries without any paranormal distractions or paranormal novels with werewolves, vampires and other creatures. But everything worked wonderfully in this case.

Mia and her family got into a car crush. Then something strange happened, she didn’t die, she became a ghost. This book consists of Mia’s present, her memories about her parents, friends and her boyfriend Adam.

Before I started If I Stay I worried about its size. It is rather short book. It’s not an easy task to make well-developed characters, interesting plot and genuine emotions in a short format. I shouldn’t have been worried. Gayle Forman managed it all. If I Stay is so emotionally charged; I’m in awe with author’s talent. It was like I was there with Mia. I felt her confusion, her grieve, her hopes and her despair.

Gayle Forman’s writing is beautiful. Not too flourish, but easy-flowing, lyrical and emotional. I want more and more and more of her words. She takes mundane moments and transforms them into something emotionally charged and moving.

And the romance. This Romance… I loved Mia and Adam together. They are both musicians and it added something special. Music is a big part of this book. It helps us to understand characters better. Since both Adam and Mia are musicians, it’s easier for them to express themselves through music. They met thanks to music, it stayed with them, and at the end (the most crucial scene in the book) it was also music.

I planned to watch a movie, but now I’m not sure about it. I loved the book so much; I don’t think the movie can reach this level of emotions for me.

My thoughts about the audiobook

This audiobook is narrated by Kirsten Potter, and she is one of my favorite narrators. She brings so much to the story. I’m not sure she is the best choice for this particular audiobook, though. Mia is seventeen, Kirsten Potter just doesn’t sound like a 17 years old girl; her voice is older and more mature. But despite this I still recommend the audiobook, because her performance is amazing. She perfectly captured Mia’s emotions and really brought this character to life.

If I Stay is a beautiful emotional and unique story about choices, about family and friendship and love. I highly recommend it.

AUDIO SAMPLE:

Audiobook mini-review: Sinner (The Wolves of Mercy Falls #4) by Maggie Stiefvater

Title: Sinner (The Wolves of Mercy Falls #4)
Author: Maggie Stiefvater
Narrator: Dan Bittner and Emma Galvin
My rating: 4 of 5 Stars
My rating of Narration: 5 of 5 Stars

SUMMARY (from Goodreads)

found.
Cole St. Clair has come to California for one reason: to get Isabel Culpeper back. She fled from his damaged, drained life, and damaged and drained it even more. He doesn't just want her. He needs her.

lost.
Isabel is trying to build herself a life in Los Angeles. It's not really working. She can play the game as well as all the other fakes...but what's the point? What is there to win?

sinner.
Cole and Isabel share a past that never seemed to have a future. They have the power to save each other and the power to tear each other apart. The only thing for certain is that they cannot let go.

MY THOUGHTS

This review is a little spoilerish if you haven’t read previous books in this series.

I’ve listened to the audio version of the whole series and it’s very well done. There are four narrators, each for Sam, Grace, Cole and Isabel; each of them made an amazing job bringing these characters to life. I know most of YA-lovers have already read this series, but if you decide to reread this series I highly recommend the audiobooks. Actually I remember Maggie Stiefvater herself said in one of her interviews that she was pleased how the audio had turned out.

I loved Sinner! Though my favorite in this series is the second book Linger, Sinner is close behind.

For those of you who haven’t read Sinner yet, this book is about Isabel, who moved back to LA, and Cole, who came there to record an album and be on reality show.

There are several reasons this installment worked for me.

1. This book reads almost as a contemporary.

You see, I’m a contemporary girl. I always prefer good contemporary to paranormal or fantasy, though I often venture to these genres and I’m happy when I can find some gems, hidden there. Anyway, back to Sinner. Paranormal aspect of it is practically nonexistent. In previous books “shapeshifting equal losing yourself” was in the front; Sam’s struggles to stay himself had profound effect on readers. In Sinner Cole’s shifting to a wolf is a way to run from reality, like drugs or alcohol. And his ability to control his shifting, to become a wolf when he wants it, only accentuates this similarity to drugs. I’m rumbling here, I hope you get what I’m trying to say.

2. Romance with a celebrity is my favorite trope.

I have a soft spot for famous heroes in my books. Give me an actor or a rock star who fall in love with a noncelebrity heroine and I’m a happy girl. But Maggie Stiefvater is Maggie Stiefvater, of course she took this usual trope about a tortured famous rock star and an average girl and made it into something beautiful, unexpected and wonderful.

3. Cole and Isabel’s relationship was intense.

Cole and Isabel were very intense characters and their relationship was explosive. I don’t mean only their sexual interactions, though compare to previous books there was definitely more this stuff in Sinner and these scenes between Cole and Isabel were hot.

Both Cole and Isabel are unstable persons, so while reading this book I was constantly nervous, in anticipation of someone’s breakdown or some disaster happening. I can say that I wanted this intensity and instability in previous installments. I loved Sam and Grace, but I wanted some angst.

I don’t know why, but I find very difficult to write a proper review on Maggie Stiefvater’s books, and I see that this attempt is no better than the previous. But I hope I was able to convey my love for this author, who writes beautiful and strange stories with amazing characters, which would stay with you for a long time.

Review: The Girl You Left Behind by Jojo Moyes

Title: The Girl You Left Behind
Author: Jojo Moyes
My rating: 5 of 5 Stars

SUMMARY (from Goodreads)
In The Girl You Left Behind, two young women, separated by a century, are united in their determination to fight for what they love most - whatever the cost.

Whatever happened to the girl you left behind?

France, 1916. Sophie Lefevre must keep her family safe whilst her adored husband Edouard fights at the front. When she is ordered to serve the German officers who descend on her hotel each evening, her home becomes riven by fierce tensions. And from the moment the new Kommandant sets eyes on Sophie’s portrait – painted by Edouard – a dangerous obsession is born, which will lead Sophie to make a dark and terrible decision.

Almost a century later, and Sophie’s portrait hangs in the home of Liv Halston, a wedding gift from her young husband before he died. A chance encounter reveals the painting’s true worth, and its troubled history. A history that is about to resurface and turn Liv’s life upside down all over again...

MY THOUGHTS

"All that really matters is who you love."

I finished this book a while ago. Life went on; I started reading other books, but The Girl You Left Behind doesn’t want to let me go. It lingers and I have flashbacks to some scenes or phrases from the book. It’s so wonderful! It was a long time since a book made such a lasting impression on me.

The Girl You Left Behind is two stories in one. The first story set in France, 1916. Sophie lives in a small town under occupation. Her husband Edouard went off to war and one of very few things that she has of him is his portrait of her. The second story set in England, 2006. It is Liv’s story. Her husband, a talented architect, died four years ago. She continues to grieve, and the only thing that keeps her going on is the portrait of a young girl, which her husband gifted her on their honeymoon. When the heirs claimed that the portrait was stolen during WWI, Liv refuses to let it go without a fight. As confrontation escalates and facts about portrait’s past revealed it began to threaten Liv’s hopes for new love and happy life.

About first 30 % of the book is Sophie’s story and then we abruptly thrown into Liv’s life. I was so shocked and frustrated. I was invested in Sophie’s story, and I wanted to know what happened to her. So it took me a while to connect with Liv. At first I thought that this was all I’ve had of Sophie and I would only see glimpses of her in letters, newspapers, and memoirs; and I was really angry, because Sophie became a real person to me. Fortunately this wasn’t the case here. There were more of Sophie’s POV weaved in Liv’s story. Actually there were more time jumps than that, because Sophie’s parts were interrupted by her memories about her husband. Though it was at times frustrating I think this structure of the book made a perfect sense. It reflects the atmosphere in which people lived during the WWI. Person didn’t know what would happen tomorrow. He could be abruptly torn away from his familiar life and his loved ones, his future unknown.

So, back to Liv’s story. As I’ve said before, at first it was difficult to connect with her. But it’s the kind of story that sneaks up on you. One moment I was annoyed and frustrated because I wanted to know what happened to Sophie, the next I’m consumed by Liv’s grieve and loneliness. The author made such an amazing job here. Liv’s loneliness was such a palpable thing, it broke my heart.

When Liv’s story started I thought that it can’t be as emotional as Sophie’s story, that I wouldn’t be so invested in Liv’s life as I was with Sophie. After all what all our contemporary mundane problems are contrary to the problems of people during WWI? I should’ve known better. Jojo Moyes made me feel, made me cry and I became so immerse in Liv’s story that at some point Sophie’s chapters became interruptions.

And I loved the romance between Liv and Paul. There was something in their relationship that squeezed my heart and wouldn’t let me go. Was it their tenderness and hope or heartbreaking revelation what they are to each other, their longing and broken hearts, their desperation, their love, strength and faith? I don’t know. I just know that I wouldn’t forget this romance for a long time.

Despite my love for Liv, my heart belongs to Sophie. It was like I was with her on every step of her heartbreaking journey. She is such a strong and purposeful heroine. There was one scene that nearly broke me

(the scene where Sophie brought the portrait to the Kommandant)

And another one left me in despair and anger

(when Sophie was brought to the camp)

"Do you know how it feels to resign yourself to your fate? It is almost welcome. There was to be no more pain, no more fear, no more longing. It is the death of hope that comes as the greatest relief."

We don’t really know Edouard. At the beginning of the book he had already gone to the front, so we only see glimpses of him in Sophie’s memories. But Jojo Moyes wrote these short chapters amazing, Edouard became a real man and their romance with Sophie was beautiful. It made me felt her loneliness, longing and desperation even more.

When we hear the word “war” we often picture explosions, injured soldiers and think about their courage and self-sacrifice. But how often do we think about the women they left behind? Women which lived in occupation, which also made sacrifices. This wonderful book brings light to this side of the war.

Sophie and Liv had more in common than just the portrait. Both women kept going on because of their absolute faith in what they were doing. In Sophie’s case she believed that she will be with her husband again no matter what happened, and Liv was willing to risk everything to save the portrait.

"Sometimes life is a series of obstacles, a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes… it is simply a matter of blind faith."

The Girl You Left Behind is a heartbreaking story about love and loss and hope. Now I can’t wait to read another book by Jojo Moyes and lost myself in her characters and their life.

Review: What Happens Next by Colleen Clayton

Title: What Happens Next
Author: Colleen Clayton
Publication date: October 9th 2012
Publisher: Poppy (Little Brown Books for Young Readers)
My rating: 5 of 5 Stars

SUMMARY (from Goodreads)
How can you talk about something you can’t remember?

Before the ski trip, sixteen-year-old Cassidy “Sid” Murphy was a cheerleader (at the bottom of the pyramid, but still...), a straight-A student, and a member of a solid trio of best friends. When she ends up on a ski lift next to handsome local college boy, Dax Windsor, she’s thrilled; but Dax takes everything from Sid—including a lock of her perfect red curls—and she can’t remember any of it.

Back home and unable to relate to her old friends, Sid drops her college prep classes and takes up residence in the A/V room with only Corey “The Living Stoner” Livingston for company. But as she gets to know Corey (slacker, baker, total dreamboat), Sid finds someone who truly makes her happy. Now, if she can just shake the nightmares and those few extra pounds, everything will be perfect... or so she thinks.

Witty and poignant, Colleen Clayton’s stunning debut is a story about moving on after the unthinkable happens.

MY THOUGHTS

It’s really difficult for me to write a proper review on a book I’ve loved so much. I found myself at a loss for the words, drowning among emotions and thoughts. Though I'm sure I can’t do this amazing book any justice, I’ll try to write my thoughts.

What Happens Next is one of those books that lingers long after you turned the last page. I’ve read several books about rape, but it’s the first one dealing with date rape drugs. Sid couldn’t remember what happened that night. She remembers school ski-trip, how she met Dax Windsor and spent an entire day with him. He is older, handsome and seems to like Sid. She remembers him inviting her to the party and how she sneaked out to go there. But when she went to his house there is no party, just him. She remembers him inviting into the house. But after – nothing. And in some ways it is worse than remember.

Back at home Sid tries to cope with what happened with her. There is her eating disorder; her obsessive running and her insomnia, how she feels uncomfortable in her body and fears men’s attention. Sid pushes away her friends, she can’t confide in her mother, she is surrounded by school rumors about her rebellious sexy ski-trip and she is completely alone. Then she is paired with the school “stoner” Corey and slowly they form an unlikely friendship.

Romance is slow-build and very sweet. I also appreciate that Corey wasn’t the main reason that Sid was able to move on. He supported her, as well as her family and friends helped her, but in the end it was Sid herself who find her strength.

Corey is a wonderful love interest. Among all those jerks in YA he really stands out. Corey is such a nice guy, he is caring, kind. He is not perfect and he has his own family problems, but he is there for Sid, supporting, not pushing her if she is not ready.

There are also great second characters in this book: Sid’s best friends Kristen and Paige, her mother and little brother. They all are so real and I like how close she was to these people.

What Happens Next is a heartbreaking and powerful book. Though it deals with such tough topic as rape at a core What Happens Next is a very moving and filled with hope story. It’s not one of those gut-wrenching, painful and filled with raw emotions books. Yes, I cried; yes, I felt for Sid; it was like I went through her dealing with the rape with her; but at the end this book wasn’t about desperation, it was about moving on. All in all I think it’s my favorite book that deals with the rape. I highly recommend it.